Well…we’re still quarantined and in isolation/social distancing for now. One thing I’m hearing about a lot right now is loneliness and how to handle it, especially if you live alone. Up until about four months ago, I lived alone for 12 years. So, I have definitely had my share of lonely weekends and lonely nights. However, I did get a break from the loneliness when I was able to connect with friends over coffee or happy hour or visit family. I can’t imagine how it may feel during social distancing when you don’t have that option. Or maybe you’re stuck with your family all day and you don’t like it. Maybe work used to be your getaway, and now you don’t have that as a refuge.
Our pastor, Dr. Conway Edwards at One Community Church in Plano, TX, gave a powerful sermon message on loneliness today, and I just want to share some of the spiritual and psychological points I took away from it and how it can apply to all of us, whether single or married, living alone or with a house full of people.
Causes of Loneliness (2 Timothy 4:6-16):
1. Transitions
2. Separation
3. Opposition or Haters
4. Rejection
Loneliness can come from many different causes. It can start if we were rejected in a relationship and find ourselves without that attachment that we had for so long. It can start from a life transition, such as moving away from home or your kids growing up and moving out. It can come from opposition or betrayal of others. No matter where it comes from, loneliness will mess with our mind.
Five Lies of Loneliness (1 Kings 19:9-13):
1. No one cares about me.
2. No one misses me or notices my absence.
3. What I do doesn’t matter.
4. It’s THEIR fault I am lonely.
5. I don’t deserve to be loved.
When we start to feel lonely and down, our mind will begin to tell us things that are not true. When these thoughts come in your mind, have some positive, more truthful thoughts ready to fire back and challenge this way of thinking. Believing these five lies will keep you in a state of depression and feeling alone even when you’re really not alone.
How to Deal With Loneliness - Spiritually & Mentally (2 Timothy 4: 12-17)
1. Get busy. Start working on your goals. Find something that gives your purpose and pursue it. Create and maintain a routine. An idle mind will begin to think too much, and it’s usually not thinking of positive things.
2. Get healing. Release those people who you have unhealthy attachments too or who have hurt you. Make sure you’re not carrying bitterness, resentment, or hatred in your heart for someone. Build bridges, not walls.
3. Get focused on what’s important. If you know what you’re focused on, you’ll know that you’re not alone and that God is standing with you. When we are trapped by our thoughts, we tend to forget this very important point. His job is to come alongside you and help you walk through the difficulties of life.
4. Get humble. Focus on helping others and the needs of the world more than on yourself.
5. Get connected. Do not stay isolated. During social distancing, try to make at least three touches per day. That can be text messages, phone calls, emails, or facetime calls. Try to have three different interactions with three different people each day to maintain that social connectedness. My siblings and parents are facetiming once per week and have a group text conversation that we use daily. I think I have been communicating and interacting with them more during social distancing than I did before! It has helped remind me that my life should never get too busy to stay connected to them.
It’s important to recognize when the feeling of loneliness is creeping in so that you can use interventions to fight against it. Loneliness is a feeling, and feelings are fleeting and temporary. You have to ground yourself in what is true and everlasting. When we confuse our feelings as fact and certain, loneliness develops into depression and depression can lead to suicide….all from a lie.
A season of loneliness and isolation is when a caterpillar gets his wings. Remember that next time you feel alone. ~ Mandy Hale
コメント