The world has become a scary place. As most of you, I woke up last Sunday morning to learn of two horrific mass shootings that took place at two different parts of our country within the same day. I felt so many emotions in that moment. Heartache for the victims and their families, anger towards the people who felt this was ok, fear that this may happen to me or my loved ones one day, and just an overall feeling of deep sadness and helplessness. Trauma can impact us in so many ways. Even if you do not directly experience the traumatic event, learning of an event or experiencing the aftermath, can also cause trauma reactions within you. Just look at the people in Times Square who began to panic and run after hearing a motorcycle backfire. They were not directly involved in the traumas of that weekend, but they were triggered just as a victim would be. In a world where unexplainable tragedies continue to happen, we have to know how to cope and keep living. But how can we do this when bad things happen every day?
1. When tragedies happen, it’s ok to talk about them. We often feel that if we don’t talk about it, we’ll stop thinking about it. That is not how trauma works. Avoidance tends to lead to more fear.
2. Limit exposure. While it is ok to talk about your thoughts and emotions about a trauma, it is not ok to ruminate on them. One way we do this is by watching constant news coverage. Remember, one of the media’s goals is to make big headlines and create a “shock factor.” Therefore, they tend to show the worst and scariest images over and over. Limit your exposure if possible.
3. Remember that for all of the bad, there are more good thingshappening in the world that often go unnoticed and do not make the media. Find these positive stories that are occurring in our world or in your community.
4. Find a way to help.This may look like serving your community or monetary donations to victims of trauma. Sow some positivity back into the darkness of the world.
What about kids? The big national tragedy that happen during my younger years was 9/11. I was 15 years old, confused, scared, and unable to really process it all. How can we help kids make sense of what is happening in the world?
1. Trauma can cause lots of fear and worry in a child. We have to monitor our emotional reactions around them. Kids feed off the emotions the see in the adults around them.
2. Limit or restrict(younger kids) exposure to images and media talk of disasters. The repetitive nature of the stories only increase anxiety. For older kids, you may not be able to monitor their access to media but try to limit it as much as possible.
3. Help them process it. Kids want to talk about what they see and hear. Allow them to share their feelings as well. Answer their questions. Put the tragedy in context. For example, if you live in Chicago, explain to them how a hurricane will likely not impact their lives in that part of the world so they do not have to be afraid of the rain.
4. Help them not to generalize. We do not want kids to grow up feeling cynical and expecting bad things to happen.
5. Reassure their safety. Remind them there is still plenty of good in the world and find something positive happening in their lives/community to talk about.
6. Comfort themand encourage them to talk about it if they are still upset. Listen and validate their feelings. Help them make a plan of what to do if tragedy happens, and remind them you will always do everything you can to keep them safe.
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