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Writer's pictureDr. Ashley Carroll-Brown

Self-Love

I haven’t blogged in a while. Things have been crazy, but I often forget how much processing my thoughts through writing helps me. So many ideas have been swirling in my head lately. From self-love and what this really means to contemplating my life’s purpose and passions. Maybe we can start out with discussing this concept of self-love.


What does it really mean to love yourself? Does it mean appreciating who you are and giving yourself permission to not be perfect when you fall short? Can it be achieved by getting a makeover or buying a cute, new outfit? Can it be obtained by getting that promotion and pay increase? Will you love yourself more when you lose weight? Will you love yourself more if that guy/girl loves you back? Can proclaiming “self-love” be used as an excuse to not continue to work on your personal growth or health? Why is it so difficult for us to like ourselves? There are millions of self-help books out there today because of this very problem.


An article in Psychology Today defines self-love below:

Self-love is not simply a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows through actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts.


So what I take away from this passage is that we achieve self-love by taking care of all aspects of our health and being kind to our bodies, which includes regular physical activity, eating well, engaging in hobbies and interests, having fun, taking breaks from the mundane, not living for our work, focusing on building relationships, being kind to ourselves, and routinely evaluating and pouring into our spiritual lives. This same article goes on to list seven acts of self-love.

1. Become mindful.

2. Act on what you need rather than what you want.

3. Practice good self-care.

4. Set boundaries.

5. Protect yourself. Bring the right people into your life.

6. Forgive yourself.

7. Live intentionally.

I found them interesting and wanted to share. Let’s challenge each other to choose one or two of these to work on over the next month to begin to accept and love ourselves more. I will be working on forgiving myself and living intentionally.



"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalms 139:14

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